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Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
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The basic text describing how this Twelve Step fellowship interprets AA's program to give support to recovering sex addicts. Includes many personal stories.
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Product details
Paperback: 290 pages
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0961570113
ISBN-13: 978-0961570118
Product Dimensions:
6 x 0.8 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.2 out of 5 stars
64 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#31,764 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This program seems to lie at the heart of many of the other addictions which have also spawned their own 12 step program. This is some of the toughest stuff to look at for those afflicted. But the program offers a great deal of grace and healing, and the book is written with the same earnestness and divine inspiration as the original texts of Alcoholics Anonymous. I hope this program continues to grow. I don't view it as a trendy program but one of great substance and importance. The personal stories are great but feel free to skip over to the chapter on the steps as well as the chapter on withdrawal for more immediate tools. For deeper insight yet, a good supplementary book is The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson. This book is not connected with the program, but I found great help and insight with it. For those struggling with a broken bio-chemical connection from years of sex and love addiction, The Mood Cure by Julia Ross offers great tools and wisdom from a nutritional point of view. After looking into her book you might think twice before picking up that cookie or donut at your next twelve step meeting.
There is nothing else on the market that is used more by S.L.A.A. fellowship. It clarifies the 12 steps and gives excellent thorough information regarding this compulsive behavior. However, I found the style in which it is written is not clear or easy to follow on a first read. It became more clear as I read it a second and third time.
This is my fourth purchase The other three were paperbacks and I read them so much that the first two literally fell to pieces. Now that I have an ecopy, I'll be able to keep it forever. This book is key to my recovery. I especially recommend the Withdrawal Chapter. It touched on everything that I was feeling. While I do appreciate the books offered by the other S fellowships, this book covers the awful feelings that love addition bring. It is especially useful for those who do not have a meeting nearby. That said, if you do have a meeting nearby, GET THERE. This book is a must for anyone serious about their recovery in any addiction. So many people don't realize how much of their addiction is about just trying to be loved Reading this book helped me find that need to love myself first.
Since this is written by the man who started the fellowship I find it has a lot of credentials since he is indeed the expert. His story resonates with me and so did his wife's. Partners of sex addicts should definitely read this book in addition to sex addicts. Even if you are not sure this book will guide you. The most compelling part of the book is the withdrawal chapter. Where withdrawl we think in terms of things we put in our bodies; alcohol, food, caffeine, drugs. But in fact since compulsive sex is an addiction the person goes through extreme withdrawal when their fix of choice ( porn, sneaking sexual partners, or even access to social media outlets or one person) is missing or taken away. These symptoms are severe and noticeable and not discussed. The stories for the partners of betrayal are very in lightening.
The way most groups view 12-step recovery, is that one works all of the steps in order to clear away the chaff in their lives. Along this path, one has a vital spiritual experience that reorders their emotions so that they are no longer held captive to their addition. The promises of AA, often read at meetings, illustrate while not cured, things begin to change wonderfully for the better "before we are half way through".Rich wrote this before any S groups were established. Though in AA, he clearly didn't grasp how the steps work and there is very little indication that he worked them in applying to his S&L addiction. Instead, his story leads us on a path where he does indeed do step 1 and come to grips with his powerlessness and unmanageability. He then isolates himself from everyone and plunges himself into a hellish state of what he calls withdrawal. Once he gets through that, he then thinks about starting a meeting doing step 12 work. In short, his program is one of three steps, of which two are a part of the 12 steps: Step 1 - withdrawal - Step 12.While there is no denying that with any addictions, there may be painful feelings of withdraw. Rich is different in that he made it central to his path of recovery. His story is recovery through hellish withdrawl, not working the 12 steps.Rich does have a section where he does talk about each of the 12 steps but it is done in a kind of "in your head" psychological explanation or perhaps justification such as "we found we had to let go of self" kind of language. It is as if he is using the 12-step as a kind of justification of his sobriety-by-withdrawl theory instead of giving practical advise as to how to work them. 12-step generally is a program of action, not mental reasoning.The SLAA group in our town no longer attempt to read this basic text. Instead they read the 12 and 12 and Hope and Recovery. People in that group have sobriety not because of the basic text but because of others in the group who are actually working the steps.This is the fourth time I tried to read this and am proud of myself of getting through the over-long, rambling opening stories. The narrative on the steps were just not very helpful. Again, to be fair, nobody knew anything about the S recovery world back in that day and we need to commend Rich for getting a recovery group going. However, this book really needs to be retired as a "nice try" - there are much better books on the market today.
I became a member of SLAA (Sex And Love Addicts Anonymous) around 1988. This program saved my life. This book was a very important book to me, and all of us. Its writing was inspired by the man who founded SLAA (the way that Bill W and Dr. Bob founded AA) It has his story, and the stories of many other recovering Sex and Love Addicts, as well as a lot of theory and suggestions. It is not written for the lowest common denominator, as the originator was a Harvard graduate - but still, I never heard any of our members complain about its being hard to understand. The book is cleanly written and does not contain any obscenities. I am surprised that I didn't find any indication here at Amazon as the what this book really is - the core literature for SLAA - a 12-Step recovery program that still exists.If you think you might have an addiction to sex and/or love - in any of its many forms - I recommend reading this book, and seeking out some meetings!
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